T-BONE'S FUCK IT'S FRIDAY AND I SHOULD'VE DONE THIS ON TUESDAY

Well lo and behold it's Friday muthafuckas and even though Ryan's kicking back like Ferris in his deckchair some of us have gotta moonlight. I got bills to pay muthapeenies so I'm going to start my own Swine Flu hotline. Pigs are filthy creatures and God put them on this earth for one thing, to eat shit. Not for bacon, or for ham sandwiches or even sweet pig loving. So all you stupid putos out there who were eating your dinner with your swine crew and rolling around in the mud with your pink friends like you were some stupid Porky Pig worshipping thespians the time is nigh.

You start coughing, you start sweating and then shit kicks in and before you know it the whole world is fucked. Look at this little foolio below, dudes gonna be crapping his piggy pants pretty soon. "Mmmmm Mr. Piggy yoo so nice, you sooooo cute, you taste soooo goooddd, me wuv bacon!!"

Here at Iron Fist we have a pre-requisite swine flu testing program which involves stringent tests on all new and current employees. Before employment starts a compulsory visit to the African witchdoctor we brought over is in order. There the sangoma rubs his big black hands across your well oiled back and performs all sorts of strange and erotic poses in order to protect you from evil viruses and stupidity. After that you may begin working in the upstairs storeroom, away from other employees in temperatures above 105 Fahrenheit. After counting all the butter print colored wishbone tees you may join the rest of the team in the office for 15 minutes a day to check your e-mail and write your blog.

After 3 weeks of this you are officially immune to the swine flu and may begin your extremely lucrative career at Iron Fist where you will receive gift vouchers and coupons to Dave's Famous Cafe and Vern Rose and the odd Friday skate session in the back.

Now let me get back to work, here's a picture below of Patrick Melcher's hispanic brother who just started working for us, nice mustache!

T.G.I.F.

Hey Folks! Ryan here, I'm new to this whole blogging thing so here we go. I guess I'm supposed to complain,go off on a tangent or rant on and on about something. Fuck that its Friday! In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." So put down your cell phones and PDA's, step away from the idiot box, shut down your myspace and Facebook accounts and go out and do some livin'!
So dust off the skateboard and hit the streets,spend some quality time with friends and family,fire up the BBQ, crack open a cold one and take in this wonderful thing called life.
See ya next week when I'm sure I'll have something to bash on.

eBay to the max!

Well fuck this week. And the next. And the one after that. I'm pretty sure, the one after that as well. Fuck July, fuck August, and September. You bitch cricket months totally suck.

Now that is all out of the way. (Sigh)


Okay...

Pre-ordered the new Lucero album. Fuck yeah! Can't wait to porty with a few brews and a pack of smokes and not move for two days with that album.

Lyle gave you an idea... here it is:

It's sideways and I don't care to fix it.

I'm goin' camping this weekend to find the mysterious Goldblumious Maximus.

I'm over this for today. Cell phone will be turned off at 7 PM Friday and I'm gone...

Fuck it... I'm out!

Artslave Wednesday!

Toady i drew a picture...I like it...JD also likes it...something else that JD&I like is the new Enter Shikari album "Common Dreads",if you get a chance to watch 'em live definitely take it cos they're one of the best live shows I've ever seen! Heres the video for "Juggernauts" from the same album:



In other news i overheard Ryan saying something about him fingering JD& there being a video of it,so if u'r lucky JD might upload that tomorrow! Anyhoo,i'm gonna get back to my picture drawing,
Later.

Lyles Album of the Week : Enter Shikari "Common Dreads"

Mikey Monday.........

OK fuck here goes, since Ryan decided to not do his Friday Blog (PS you owe us lunch asswipe), I dedicating this one to you my friend.
So the FedEx ninja, this fucking fruitcake will POOF appear right next to you, "hey I got a package for you" & POOF the fucker'll disappear, leaving only the smell of very bad cologne.
Now our friend Ryan has to be related to the FedEx ninja because everyday at 5, POOF Ryan disappears. Like the fucking wind son!

eBay's Thursdays!

This is eBay reporting from the eye of tropical storm Billy Bananas.

In the spirit of Comic Con, which officially begins today (come see us if you're going to be there), I will jump right in and join the most heated, passionate, crazed debate there has ever been for every nerd in the universe.

Yes. The most intense battle of all time rages in the souls of all nerdtrons errvarywhere! The battle has been long. The war is no where close to being ov... wait, what's that Travis? It seems that someone has signed a treaty after nearly losing all it's men in an agonizing fight this morning on Jump Street. We have live video of the scene now...

Oh my Goldblum... it's the man who single-handedly created God, Yahweh, and Allah himself. Reports are flooding into the studio now that he has destroyed every televised street from here to the Streets of San Francisco (very few of you will get that joke). It looks like it's getting rough out there, so I am going to get the hell out of here.

Come have a beer with me tonight at the Ken Club to see Off With Their Heads suckas!



Fuck it... I'm out!

Artslave Wednesday!

Okey dokey kids as resident artslave in the Iron Fist office, Wednesdays are probably gonna be about awesome artfag topics like which cheeses go best with which wines & how best to get into ur new skin tight skinny jeans,but first something of actual relevance....

Theory One is one of the sickest illustrators/designers around in my opinion.
He's got style for miles,&always origional as fuck.anyhoo enough
jibber jabbering heres some of his illustrations.
check out his flickr at http://www.flickr.com/photos/theory_one/ for up to date radness!

Now go dust off ur Wookiee costumes&put new batteries
in ur Light Sabers cos it's Comicon Weekend bitches!!!!

Lyles Album of the Week : Sundowner "Four One Five Two"

T-BONE'S TUESDAY

Dearest Jebus

Thank you for the hot, humid and uncomfortable day in the office.

All my love

Flava Trav

Here are some wonderful images of my co-workers:

Mike was like "Hey Ryan like totally like check out my bad ass new refurbished ride."

Ryan was like "Dude, shit is proper!"

Then they got back to getting ready for Comic Con.

JD wore the cutest summer bonnet today in honor of his mentor Mr. Kermit The Frog.

At the hottest point of today JD was like "T-shirt is coming off, I don't care if dude's are homophobic in this office." Then I was like, "JD where the dolphin shorts at homeslice?"

JD was like "Piss off I got invoicing to do and you listen to crap music."

I was like "Ah, that is true but I do have the soundtrack for life."

And then we played the techno version of The Heart Goes On from Titanic, it was awesome, shit gets my blood pumping.

Lyle get your apartment sorted out dude, Lyle is like "OK dude."

Uh uh uh!! Mexican Americans...don't like to wake up early...but they do it...real slow....Lyle don't like to wake up early but his alarm don't go off all the time and he gets to work...real slow...

Ryan Grosso get that ankle sorted out!! 2foot quarter pipe slam to Jesus Christ wrist bend back and death defying ankle roll. No comply challenge bitch and yes....you hang out here, you hang out with daggers.

OK that's my Tuesday!!

The sun has gone to bed and so must I
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye!

P.S. Casting for next Xanadu shoot on August 15th!

Mikey Monday....

OK so Friday night my girl & I head out to get some dinner, we hit Chipotle....mmmmm.

Got me a little chicken bowl love. We get done at about 8:30ish & we start heading back home, but alas we pass the local Poway Irish Pub, so in we go for a few pints o' the black goodness!

Halfway through a shot of Jameson & few pints the band starts to play......whooooaaa, holy shit man. The old dude who was sound checking did a costume change and my God, somethings should just stay in the closet. He's rokin' this crazy crochet suit deal...wtf?

Ok thank God we outa there, I guess by now I was kinda drunk so after trying to yell at a cop from the passenger seat while wearing a skate helmet, I need to piss, so I whipped it out and pee all over the side of the van at about 50 mph......Need I say more

Ohhhh the best thing is drunk & home by 10:30 hahahaaaaa