5 Straight Weeks!!!

Howay you ugly fucks!

How does five straight weeks feel with the infalible one?

Great right?! FUCK YEAH!

Well, what do I say now? Well... I rule. Total tron.

I feel like the only thing to point out right now is...



How dare you?!!!

Yeah... so NASCAR.

This exhausted snow beagle is gon' get runnin'.



Fuck it... I'm out!

Month of eBay Thursdays!

Yeah fuckers!

Last night. Total gnartron awesomeness to the max!!!













Yeah. FUCKIN' PORTY!!!





Beers a plenty, dancin' away the night, and rock 'n' roll to the end...

Even Sir Awesomeblum says, "Last night was grand.

Thanks for the brews Frank. There's this chocolate train outside of Liverpool. THEN THEY STOLE IT!!!

Ahh...

Fuck it. I'm out!

Three weeks of only Thursdays!

Why hello you bastards!

Since I am now the ONLY one to do this. I deserve a fuckin' medal or a damn trophy. Or this will do...

That would look so amazing on the front of Dr. Danger Ranger.

Yeah... I'm seriously runnin' out of great shit to say...

PSYCH!

This one time I was dancin' and the porty was happenin'... Then I brought the other porty. Then the porties mixed together and made a huge fission porty!

HAHA! SCIENCE! SCIENCE! SCIENCE!

So fuck the Post Office, and USPS, and fuckers drivin' BMWs that try hit me with their cars and then they get mad when their car gets spit on.

That picture would be of no one working at the Post Office... there were 312 people in line.

Tomorrow is gon' rule... Corrrrrrryyyyyy fuckin' Brrrrannnannn fools!!!

Ardent Presents: Cory Branan "Tall Green Grass" - The funniest home videos are here

So let's get the beers in and go to Hammered Wasted Nation, USA!!!

Fuck it! I'm out...

One whole week of eBay...

Again, since I am the only one to do this bad boy, here we go...

60% of the office was in Vegas this week. Cool... hope you guys did well, but it left me to do all my work, warehouse work, and to nearly fall off the top shelves twice. Fall porty!

Hmm... Jeremy Mayfield.

Meth head. NASCAR rules!!!

Also, look at this!

Everyone else in this picture is lookin' where ever the hell they feel like lookin'. Look at Sir Goldblum! DIRECTLY AT THE CAMERA! Fuckin' genius!!!

Yep...

Sure...

Affirmative...

Shit...

Goin' to drink my face off to Face Off.

Shh... super secret...



Fuck it... I'm out!

Prelude to Friday

What's the word mufuggahs?! It's Thursday, which means you get to sit and read this nonsense.

To start off today, it hit triple digits.

Ain't that shit rad?! Sunny Southern California, the new desert! Come visit!

Let's see August is almost done, I still got tons of shit to do, but you know what I don't have to do? Replace my transmission, so fuck yeah!

Snow beagle part one...

The snow beagle called, he said, "Fuck off Brett!"

Yeah... look at those frip frops...

Fuck it...

... I'm out!

Artslave Wednesday!

Okay so JD has a horrible story about being mugged in England & stabbed in the leg with a rusty knife, & cos we're heartless assholes that like to make fun of other peoples misfortunes i did a lil' drawing for JD the other night. If you live in England & see this dude, call us so JD can stab him back!





heres a pretty cool video from Modest Mouse.



peace out bitches.

Houseguest

This is Banks he's staying with me for the week, I don't mind he's cute and doesn't really make a mess. Unlike my last houseguest who shit on my rug and ate my shoe. Thanks again J.D. you still owe me for the carpet cleaning! Have a great weekend everybody!

Thursday Wordsday!

If only we lived in a world where small animals were as vicious as the state bird of Montana...

Ohhh shhhiiittuh! SNOW BEAGLE!

Anyway, I was walkin' by, just looking and I fell in. Ahh... cheetah, cheetah, cheetah.

This one time in America, NASCAR!

Yeah. America called, they want their Palin back! Eagles errvarywherrez!

In all seriousness, these colors still don't run.

But they do face paint the bald eagle. Seems rude to me. Cunts and their paint.

Bumble Bee Tuna!

That screams, "U! S! A!" mufuggah!



Fuck it... I'm out.

Let's get this party started...again

King of Jumpin' on Grenades Thursdays...

Mornin' bitch crickets! Since 40% of us here don't do their blogs, I'll continue to do so.

Travis and Leanne: Thank you for the lamb. I felt like I was chewing through the innocence of a small, lost animal like a carniverous raptor of fuckin' doom!

Hell yeah! That thing fuckin' rules! AMERICA!

News, news, news... hmm... I still hate everything. Everything still hates me. World is still in balance. Good.

Scrabble is the worst board game ever. I mean, think about it. You waste two hours trying to get all the two-letter words you can get onto a board. That sounds like a waste of time I don't have.

I once though Scrabble was alright, then I realized that only Communists play Scrabble. NASCAR don't have no Scrabble car, now do they?! Yeah, thought so! Godsmack!

Word. I think, I'm rambling now. So... fuck you..?!

Chaos Theory says fuck you too!

Before I run to the next NASCAR event...

Artslave Wednesday!

D*Face is rad...not as rad as JD in booty shorts,but pretty rad nonetheless!



So keep on breathing,Don't stop creating,
Peace.

Pictures worth a thousand words

Have a great weekend I know J.D. will!

Thursdays keep comin' and goin'...

Main Entry: team·work
Pronunciation: \ˈtēm-ˌwərk\
Function: noun
Date: circa 1828
: work done by several associates with each doing a part but all subordinating personal prominence to the efficiency of the whole

Dear God,

Will you please tell me everything's gon' be alright?

Ahh... Thank you.

Tomorrow... brother's in town. Crawfordsville boys are in town.

Saturday... Porty mania!

Sunday...

The boys are back in Toon! Howay the lads to a great season to get to the Premiership!

Before I go...

Fuck it... I'm out.

Hater Wednesday!

Today was fuckin' hot&there was a lot of tension being thrown around the office,it got so bad that there was even some very hurtful graffitti out back!(i hate to point fingers but i think it was mikey cos' he's been "Blog Bullying" Ryan lately!)

So I thought i'd try to pull everyone together again with a lil' bit of love&a whole lotta flyin' beard!here's our new Breakdancing Jesus vid,share it with your loved ones& Breakdancing Jesus' blessings will rain upon you!!!





Peace be with you,
Brother Lyle.

Album Of The Week : The Lawrence Arms "Cocktails&Dreams"

Sorry dude....

Sorry Ryan I can't help it, you gave me all the ammo for this post right before u snuck out today...

T-BONE'S FUCK IT'S FRIDAY AND I SHOULD'VE DONE THIS ON TUESDAY

Well lo and behold it's Friday muthafuckas and even though Ryan's kicking back like Ferris in his deckchair some of us have gotta moonlight. I got bills to pay muthapeenies so I'm going to start my own Swine Flu hotline. Pigs are filthy creatures and God put them on this earth for one thing, to eat shit. Not for bacon, or for ham sandwiches or even sweet pig loving. So all you stupid putos out there who were eating your dinner with your swine crew and rolling around in the mud with your pink friends like you were some stupid Porky Pig worshipping thespians the time is nigh.

You start coughing, you start sweating and then shit kicks in and before you know it the whole world is fucked. Look at this little foolio below, dudes gonna be crapping his piggy pants pretty soon. "Mmmmm Mr. Piggy yoo so nice, you sooooo cute, you taste soooo goooddd, me wuv bacon!!"

Here at Iron Fist we have a pre-requisite swine flu testing program which involves stringent tests on all new and current employees. Before employment starts a compulsory visit to the African witchdoctor we brought over is in order. There the sangoma rubs his big black hands across your well oiled back and performs all sorts of strange and erotic poses in order to protect you from evil viruses and stupidity. After that you may begin working in the upstairs storeroom, away from other employees in temperatures above 105 Fahrenheit. After counting all the butter print colored wishbone tees you may join the rest of the team in the office for 15 minutes a day to check your e-mail and write your blog.

After 3 weeks of this you are officially immune to the swine flu and may begin your extremely lucrative career at Iron Fist where you will receive gift vouchers and coupons to Dave's Famous Cafe and Vern Rose and the odd Friday skate session in the back.

Now let me get back to work, here's a picture below of Patrick Melcher's hispanic brother who just started working for us, nice mustache!

T.G.I.F.

Hey Folks! Ryan here, I'm new to this whole blogging thing so here we go. I guess I'm supposed to complain,go off on a tangent or rant on and on about something. Fuck that its Friday! In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." So put down your cell phones and PDA's, step away from the idiot box, shut down your myspace and Facebook accounts and go out and do some livin'!
So dust off the skateboard and hit the streets,spend some quality time with friends and family,fire up the BBQ, crack open a cold one and take in this wonderful thing called life.
See ya next week when I'm sure I'll have something to bash on.

eBay to the max!

Well fuck this week. And the next. And the one after that. I'm pretty sure, the one after that as well. Fuck July, fuck August, and September. You bitch cricket months totally suck.

Now that is all out of the way. (Sigh)


Okay...

Pre-ordered the new Lucero album. Fuck yeah! Can't wait to porty with a few brews and a pack of smokes and not move for two days with that album.

Lyle gave you an idea... here it is:

It's sideways and I don't care to fix it.

I'm goin' camping this weekend to find the mysterious Goldblumious Maximus.

I'm over this for today. Cell phone will be turned off at 7 PM Friday and I'm gone...

Fuck it... I'm out!

Artslave Wednesday!

Toady i drew a picture...I like it...JD also likes it...something else that JD&I like is the new Enter Shikari album "Common Dreads",if you get a chance to watch 'em live definitely take it cos they're one of the best live shows I've ever seen! Heres the video for "Juggernauts" from the same album:



In other news i overheard Ryan saying something about him fingering JD& there being a video of it,so if u'r lucky JD might upload that tomorrow! Anyhoo,i'm gonna get back to my picture drawing,
Later.

Lyles Album of the Week : Enter Shikari "Common Dreads"

Mikey Monday.........

OK fuck here goes, since Ryan decided to not do his Friday Blog (PS you owe us lunch asswipe), I dedicating this one to you my friend.
So the FedEx ninja, this fucking fruitcake will POOF appear right next to you, "hey I got a package for you" & POOF the fucker'll disappear, leaving only the smell of very bad cologne.
Now our friend Ryan has to be related to the FedEx ninja because everyday at 5, POOF Ryan disappears. Like the fucking wind son!

eBay's Thursdays!

This is eBay reporting from the eye of tropical storm Billy Bananas.

In the spirit of Comic Con, which officially begins today (come see us if you're going to be there), I will jump right in and join the most heated, passionate, crazed debate there has ever been for every nerd in the universe.

Yes. The most intense battle of all time rages in the souls of all nerdtrons errvarywhere! The battle has been long. The war is no where close to being ov... wait, what's that Travis? It seems that someone has signed a treaty after nearly losing all it's men in an agonizing fight this morning on Jump Street. We have live video of the scene now...

Oh my Goldblum... it's the man who single-handedly created God, Yahweh, and Allah himself. Reports are flooding into the studio now that he has destroyed every televised street from here to the Streets of San Francisco (very few of you will get that joke). It looks like it's getting rough out there, so I am going to get the hell out of here.

Come have a beer with me tonight at the Ken Club to see Off With Their Heads suckas!



Fuck it... I'm out!

Artslave Wednesday!

Okey dokey kids as resident artslave in the Iron Fist office, Wednesdays are probably gonna be about awesome artfag topics like which cheeses go best with which wines & how best to get into ur new skin tight skinny jeans,but first something of actual relevance....

Theory One is one of the sickest illustrators/designers around in my opinion.
He's got style for miles,&always origional as fuck.anyhoo enough
jibber jabbering heres some of his illustrations.
check out his flickr at http://www.flickr.com/photos/theory_one/ for up to date radness!

Now go dust off ur Wookiee costumes&put new batteries
in ur Light Sabers cos it's Comicon Weekend bitches!!!!

Lyles Album of the Week : Sundowner "Four One Five Two"

T-BONE'S TUESDAY

Dearest Jebus

Thank you for the hot, humid and uncomfortable day in the office.

All my love

Flava Trav

Here are some wonderful images of my co-workers:

Mike was like "Hey Ryan like totally like check out my bad ass new refurbished ride."

Ryan was like "Dude, shit is proper!"

Then they got back to getting ready for Comic Con.

JD wore the cutest summer bonnet today in honor of his mentor Mr. Kermit The Frog.

At the hottest point of today JD was like "T-shirt is coming off, I don't care if dude's are homophobic in this office." Then I was like, "JD where the dolphin shorts at homeslice?"

JD was like "Piss off I got invoicing to do and you listen to crap music."

I was like "Ah, that is true but I do have the soundtrack for life."

And then we played the techno version of The Heart Goes On from Titanic, it was awesome, shit gets my blood pumping.

Lyle get your apartment sorted out dude, Lyle is like "OK dude."

Uh uh uh!! Mexican Americans...don't like to wake up early...but they do it...real slow....Lyle don't like to wake up early but his alarm don't go off all the time and he gets to work...real slow...

Ryan Grosso get that ankle sorted out!! 2foot quarter pipe slam to Jesus Christ wrist bend back and death defying ankle roll. No comply challenge bitch and yes....you hang out here, you hang out with daggers.

OK that's my Tuesday!!

The sun has gone to bed and so must I
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye!

P.S. Casting for next Xanadu shoot on August 15th!

Mikey Monday....

OK so Friday night my girl & I head out to get some dinner, we hit Chipotle....mmmmm.

Got me a little chicken bowl love. We get done at about 8:30ish & we start heading back home, but alas we pass the local Poway Irish Pub, so in we go for a few pints o' the black goodness!

Halfway through a shot of Jameson & few pints the band starts to play......whooooaaa, holy shit man. The old dude who was sound checking did a costume change and my God, somethings should just stay in the closet. He's rokin' this crazy crochet suit deal...wtf?

Ok thank God we outa there, I guess by now I was kinda drunk so after trying to yell at a cop from the passenger seat while wearing a skate helmet, I need to piss, so I whipped it out and pee all over the side of the van at about 50 mph......Need I say more

Ohhhh the best thing is drunk & home by 10:30 hahahaaaaa